Trend report for February 2014: I'm out of touch

I very much follow the crowd and this is what I have noticed to be hip and happening now.

-flappy bird: what the f@£k. A game which is so popular the creator/owner has taken it down. I've downloaded a similar version and although it is quite addictive it is not that great. Get over  it people, Candy crush is so much better

- it's raining: luckily I missed the worst of it and my thoughts go to all those who have suffered. And now there are sinkholes. Say whhhaaatttt! We can't blame anyone, but have to understand that Mother Nature is the BOSS.

-I'm getting old: I'm now engaged and I can't run as much as I thought I could. I am quite fit but the consequences shall be felt for days. I have to finally let go of my dream of playing professional football.

- following from above. Wayne Rooney is set to get £300k a week. Wow. Wow. Wow. Same age, Rooney and I but just a few differences. I have more hair, he has more money. Has has two kids I have none. He plays for man united, I hate man united. I'm doing alright. SAME SAME, BUT DIFFERENT

-film season and oscars up soon. I still need to watch a few films, but thank god for airplane movies. Gatsby good, Gravity good, Thor okay, Rush good. Now just to watch the wolf, the slave and the hustle. My prediction: 12 years a slave to win best movie.

Until next months trend report, please follow reliable sources for advice and come back here for general nonsense. Basically come back for ME. Shayan.